BAD BAD behavior in children?

I have a son who is 12 and he is BAD! I feel like I am at the end of my rope and about to lose my sanity! I don't even know where to start except to say he has been bad for many years: Been to many different doctors/counselors, He is explosive, disrespectful, just nasty as can be. He lies, he steals, he sneaks, he takes anything that isn't nailed down; just because he wants to. I finally out of desperation tried medication and he is takes Zoloft and now concerta and they have helped some with the explosive behavior. I have had to have him arrested for domestic violence because he has struck me and he is just out of control! He has encopressis (where he poops his pants) and at this point, I don't know if he does it on purpose or if he has a true medical problem. He is lazy and have battles on a daily basis because he tears the house/yard up like a tornado hit it and refuses to clean up after himself. The other day he walked ped the bathroom and peed in my laundry in the laundry room. Clearly an act of defiance. But I just don't understand why!!!! I have 5 other children who are nothing like this. I beat myself up thinking I did something wrong to cause the way he is acting but I have done nothing at all different with him than I have with my other children. I am consistent with my parenting. I punish and follow through; groundings, taking away favorites,Hell, I have even tried , which I don't believe in, NOTHING WORKS! He gets in trouble in school (suspended, detentions, off the bus for weeks at a time) and the thing is he is so manipulative, he turns the water works on in a second and I can't even tell if he truly is remorseful or working me! I can call his probation officer and have him locked up and pray that something turns around but I feel in my heart that it isn't going to help but I am so honestly sick of living this way that I am willing to try it. No one will take him to give me a break because he lies and steals so much. He is ruining my marriage, my life, my other kids. I can't count the times I have to leave work because of the crap he pulls or how he tries to pit my husband and I against each other or lies and says the other kids are doing things and they aren't. He makes everyone else's life just miserable and the sad part is I think he enjoys it. He has been diagnosed with ODD and works with two counselors and a psych doc and doc says ODD, counselor says that and bi-polar but I don't even know anymore. The counselors just don't know what to do anymore. They feel he needs more, but have no answers or direction to point me in. The psych doc just says, Oh don't do that anymore and of course his charm is thick for the hour we sit in the office. I faithfully take him to appointments once a week and nothing is working or improving! He has been in counseling since he was 5!!!! I just want help to not live like this anymore. I feel like I am losing MY mind battling every single day to deal with him and everything he does. If anyone has any advice or direction, please, please help me!